Perhaps there isn't a more disorienting experience than losing your vision. The world is turned upside down. Things that were once effortless become horrendously complex, an unthought of independence taken for granted is left shattered on the floor, the previous existence is another life.
The problem is that it isn't one or two things that need to be relearned, it's everything. Going to the fridge to get a glass of milk used to be something I could do half asleep; after I lost my vision it became a multi-step process.Any error meant I was standing lost in a house I'd lived in for years. I felt like my possibilities had gotten very narrow, everything I wanted to do came up against my no longer being able to see. Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like, I wondered? When I lost my vision, I began to hear of blind people who were managing fine. At the time, imagining that I could be one of those people struck me as almost beyond belief.
I've never been a person who gave up easy. When the loss had settled on me so that opening my eyes in the morning was no longer devastating, I realized what I needed was training in how to be blind. If there were independent blind people, I knew I could be one of those people. I wanted to be a productive member of society again; before I lost my vision I'd worked my entire life. I didn't want to be one of those people who sat around feeling sorry for herself.
I went on the Internet looking for the best training centers for the blind. The program that stood out to me was a comprehensive training program at the Louisiana Center for the Blind (LCB) that lasted for nine months. I signed up because I knew I needed to learn a lot of new skills in a hurry! And with a lot of hard work along with great teachers, I did. The classes included learning to shop by ourselves, read Braille, wood shop, how to use a washing machine and drier, how to travel safely using a cane, how to ask for help if I became lost traveling, how to cook, adaptive computer skills including how to use a screen reader and public speaking. Also for the women in the group we were shown how to apply makeup again.
When a person is confronted with low expectations, it's all too easy for her to lower herself to those expectations. However, when a person is expected and encouraged to succeed, she's inspired to work hard. My instructors told me that being blind wasn't the end of my life, instead it was a new beginning.
It's hard to say all that the LCB program did for me. I learned to read again. I relearned to cook my own meals. After we'd gotten familiar with the basics, we were challenged to cook a meal for forty people. I made chicken spaghetti, Texas Toast, with a Caesar salad as a starter, a lemon pound cake for desert, andsweetened and unsweetened ice tea to drink.
It wasn't only life skills we spent time on. There was a long list of recreational activities the average recently blinded person assumes are far beyond her. While I was at the program we went rock climbing, white water rafting, horseback riding, zip lining, and Mardi Gras. All these activities build up a strengthening sense that the world is not too complex for a blind person to deal with. If you can survive on white water rapids you can survive the checkout at Stop & Shop. Until I went to the LCB I'd never used a cane. Now I can't imagine traveling without one.
The biggest thing the LCB program did for me was even more important than the skills I learned, there was the confidence I came away with once I'd graduated.
The LCB made me really believe that I had the skills it takes to live fully and independently back in the real world. When I graduated I felt like I was starting the first day of the rest of my life. I'd rediscovered how to be independent, but more importantly I felt like I could be independent. The LCB program isn't truly finished on graduation day. The instructors running the program pay attention to the students they have graduated and are always ready to provide advice, aid and encouragement to us. Knowing I have that support if I need it means a lot to me.
On graduation day every blind student is given a small metal bell that says "together we are changing what it means to be blind". I like that, because a big problem in the world are people's wrong expectations of what blind people can and cannot do. I like that statement on the bell also because I know I'm not the only person fighting for my independence, it makes me feel like I'm part of a movement.
If anyone has recently lost his or her vision, knows they need training, and is feeling worried and overwhelmed, I think they should call the LCB and ask about the training program that lasts for nine months. I learned so much about how to be blind but more importantly I feel like I rediscovered myself. On that note I'd like to personally thank BESB and my case worker Jeannette Rodriquez, Beth Rival, and Mrs. Pam Allen.